


Begin again

by mercyziegler



Series: Jelix is not dead, baby! [5]
Category: Jelix - Fandom, PewDiePie - Fandom, jacksepticeye, septicpie - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Coma AU, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Jelix - Freeform, M/M, Sad, Septicpie, happy pride!, i love them so so much, jacksepticeye - Freeform, love life, pewdiepie - Freeform, wakes up from a coma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-14
Updated: 2019-06-17
Packaged: 2020-05-07 11:43:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19208695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mercyziegler/pseuds/mercyziegler
Summary: Sean had been living his best life lately. He had a job he loved on YouTube, a great house and a beautiful girlfriend. Even his worst days were good and he couldn’t be more grateful about it.Nothing could ruin it for him, not even…“Hello?”“Mr. McLoughlin?” the woman on the other side of the phone asked.“Yes?”“We have you as the emergency contact of a patient here. Felix Kjellberg. He woke up from his coma… asking for you”.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [roverhistorier](https://archiveofourown.org/users/roverhistorier/gifts).



> I don't think I'm gonna have a schedule for this but my friend/angel gave me this super sad idea and I couldn't resist it. Hope ya'll like it <3

 

 

 

**1 YEAR BEFORE**

“Are ye crazy? No way ye could beat me in any drinking game ever, ye bitch!”

Felix was holding a bottle of his favorite whiskey, just recently opened. “What about “I have never”? You almost never leave your house; don’t think you’re even a threat”.

“Oh, it’s on!” Sean replied, getting his own bottle of whiskey.

The Swede’s house was full of people, since it was his idea to make a party. Apparently, he was feeling lonely since Marzia left him – and nobody knew the reason yet – so no one complained about getting together and drinking when he asked.

He needed them and they needed booze.

“Okay, I’ll start…. Uhm, I have never… cheated on my girlfriend/boyfriend”

Everyone stood still. Silent.

“Do ye guys even know the rules? If ye ever did it, ye drink a shot! For fucks sake…” Sean seemed impatient.

Brad was the first one to take it. After him, four more guys and two girls… and Felix.

“Seriously?”

“This is a drinking game, Jack. You have to be completely honest”. Everyone nodded in agreement, but Sean didn’t drink.

One of the girls continued. “I have never had sex in public”

Only a few people took the shots.

And with more questions, more shots. Sean was losing terribly to Felix, which made the game too annoying for him to handle. He couldn’t lose to his best friend, not after threatening him the way he did.

“Okay, listen” Sean yelled at a already drunk crowd. “I have never kissed someone of the same gender”.

Every single girl at the party drank a shot. Also Ken and Bob which made everyone turn their attention to them. Except for Sean and Felix.

“You know I’m gonna win, right?”

“Well, at least now I’m one point ahead” Sean said, drinking a shot from his bottle without breaking eye contact with the other man.

“Oh, it’s cute how you’re so sure about that. Well, guess what, pussy?” and with that, Felix also took a shot.

Everyone else kept playing, but the game turned a little bit too personal to these two now. They sat on Felix’s couch and no one seemed to miss them.

“Are ye fucking serious? Ye just cheating right now, aren’t ye?”

“No! I told you, people need to be 100% honest in drinking games!”

“So, ye’re telling me ye kissed another man before?” Felix nodded. “And ye never told me about it?”

“You did too! And you never told me anything either!”

“But that was before I even met ye!” Sean passed his fingers through his hair, sweat drops were running down his face. “Like, what the fuck? Who the fuck did ye even kiss?”

“Why does that matter so much to you?”

“Cause I need to know ye’re not cheating!” Sean lied.

“Ugh, fine! It was last week. After Marzia broke up with me I felt I needed to… try other things. I was confused, that’s why she broke up with me in the first place, so…”

“Wait” Sean interrupted, trying to make his drunk brain cope with all of that. “ So, Marzia broke up with ye cause ye’re confused about…”

“My sexuality. Yes, basically. It’s a little bit more complicated than that, but it’s basically it.”

Sean kept looking in his friend’s eyes for some seconds. “Wow” he gasped, “I- like, I kept thinking of reasons for the break up, but I never thought of that… But, ye said ye cheated on her. At least ye drank a shot when the question was…”

“I know” Felix replied, breaking eye contact. “I did. I cheated on her years ago with another girl. It was just a kiss and she let it go.”

Sean kept starring at his own shoes.

“What about you, huh? Kissed another boy? I never knew you had it in you” Felix commented, after about three sips of his bottle.

Sean giggled. “Well, yea. Guess I was a confused teenager. I had to be sure I wasn’t gay like everybody insisted to call me back then”.

“So?”

“So what?”

“How was it? Did you enjoy it?”

The Irish shrugged. “Dude turned out to be a douche so no, I didn’t enjoy it at all… what about ye?”

“Dude was a douche too, in my case”.

Sean kept waiting for more, but nothing came.

“We’re out of vodka!” some drunk guy yelled from the kitchen and everyone else started to boo.

“Okay, calm the fuck down! I’m gonna buy some more, okay?”

Everyone cheered, while Felix got off his couch and headed to the door. Sean offered to come along and never got an answer, which he took as a ‘yes’.

About half way the nearest 24/7 beverage store, Sean spoke the first word since they left.

“So… ye still didn’t say if ye liked it or not”

Felix buffed, “why does that matter?”

“Cause I’m yer best friend and I wanna know ye better?”

The Swede kept quiet. They got to the store and bought four more bottles of vodka, which Felix paid without any complaints and kept walking back home.

“Fe” Sean pulled his arm until he had to turn around and face him. “Why don’t ye wanna talk to me about it? I told ye, it’s fine…”

“It might be fine for you, Jack. But I can’t keep talking about this… not with you”

Sean kept starring his friend’s blue eyes, deeper than ever. “Why not with me?”

Felix looked at the ground, shaking his head. “Please, let’s change the subject…”

“No, let’s not!” Sean yelled. “I’m yer best friend, goddamit! Ye’re supposed to tell me everything, Felix! If not me, who ye gonna talk about this shit?”

“ANYONE I’M NOT IN LOVE WITH?”

Not a word was said after this. Felix felt so embarrassed he just started walking forward, ignoring Jack’s presence completely. Sean, on the other hand, was running to every possible scene in his head. He would be lying if said he never imagined them as a couple. Ever since Sean met Felix, he felt something more - something physical he could say – but he couldn’t even imagine a scenario where he corresponded to it.

In the middle of those hundreds of thousands of thoughts to process, he missed a car coming in high speed, right in the middle of the road Felix was starting to cross.

“Felix!” was the one thing he could say, after his friend looked back.

And the car hit him with and astronomous force.

 

 

 

 

“Do whatever it takes, please! Doesn’t matter how much it’s gonna cost. Just bring him back!” Sean’s voice was breaking, as he yelled to the doctor.

“Sir, I promise you. We are gonna do everything we can to save your boyfriend. Now, please, calm down a little and go home”.

And that he did.

Days passed. Weeks. Months. Hopes kept getting lower and lower for him to come back and everyone had lost all hope. Media gave up on him, just like everyone else, and – eventually – even Sean did.

Until, a year later, he woke up.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is gonna be short so expect just one more chapter on this <3 enjoy!

 

**TODAY**

 

Sean fought time itself once he heard about Felix. He felt like his imagination was playing tricks at him, how could it be real? It had been approximately 370 days since that night, but it felt like a whole lifetime. So much had changed and, still, his feeling towards his best friend were as strong as they ever were.

“In times like these, I’d love to have a car” Sean murmured to the uber driver beside him, shaking his leg uncontrollably and looking outside the window.

“I don’t wanna look like a snitch, but is anyone sick, or....”

“My friend woke up from a coma. After a year. He’s back!” Sean tried to hold his tears, at least until he saw his face.

The Uber driver gasped. “Wow, dude... that’s amazing” he said smiling, trying to go as fast as he could without breaking any laws.

“Yea. Yes, it is...” he smiled.

Arriving at the hospital, he had to turn off his phone completely. Apparently everyone already knew, so there were too many notifications for him to handle right now. He wanted it to be about Felix and anyone else.

He arrived at the desk he knew too well, but haven’t stopped by for months.

“Hi, I’m...”

“Sean, right?” the girl at the desk said smiling - the Irish just now recognizing her face.

“Yea. That’s me” he smiled back.

“The nurse is leaving his room in a minute. Can you wait here until she calls you?”

“Yea, sure”. His voice broke for a while, “uhm, how is he? Do ye know something?”

The girl smiled widely, “he misses you”.

He had forgot about the tiny fact everyone there at the hospital thought they were boyfriends. The doctor said it right when they got there on the ambulance a year ago and, since he never said the opposite, everyone assumed they were together. The crew was all smiling and waiting for the moment were the couple would finally meet again.

Sean picked up his turned off phone and starred at the black screen, a hundred percent sure his girlfriend had called at least 5 times by now. Was he being selfish on wanting to ignore the world in this moment? Why did he never say they were not together? Why the feeling of being in a place full of people that thought he was dating Felix so... good?

“Mr. McLoughlin?” the nurse called.

Sean jumped out of his thoughts and put his phone back on his pocket.

“You can come now” she said smiling.

The Irish took a deep breath and followed the nurse, remembering the several times he walked that same path months ago. Now he felt guilty on giving up on him. How could he do that to someone who would NEVER give up on him?

His feelings were on his skin and it only got worse once the nurse opened the door.

He looked... healthy. The nurses had done a great job keeping his hair and beard well-cut, he did not loot any skinnier than he did some months ago when he last saw him and, most importantly, he was awake.

“Who the fuck is this guy?” the Swede asked the nurse with a confused look.

Sean gasped, his heart froze. “Oh no...” he whispered to himself. He never thought about the possibility of Felix not remembering him.

Tears were already forming in his eyes, then Felix continued. “Jack has green hair, you fake bitch!”

The Irish felt the biggest relief of his life. “Holy shit, Felix. Ye fucking asshole” he placed his hand on his own chest and started walking towards the bed. They were both laughing.

Felix opened his arms, waiting for a hug. Not being able to hold any longer, Sean let the tears run down his face when he hugged his friend as tight as he could without breaking any of his bones.

“Shit, I missed ye so much” his voice was cracking and he couldn’t even think of letting go of the Swede’s grip.

“Oh come on, bud. It was just a year!”

“Fuck you” Sean replied laughing in the middle of his tears.

About a minute passed, until the brunette finally decided to let go of the hug. He looked on the other man’s blue eyes and felt everything coming back to him. Specially the guilt. God, how guilty he felt...

“Felix, I- Do ye remember what happened?”

He nodded. “Last thing I remember was the lights of the car and then I woke up about an hour ago with someone changing my sheets. I figured immediately I had been hit by that car and I was in the hospital, but when the nurse said I was here for a whole year I just... It’s just a lot to process”.

Sean kept listening, the air around them seemed to get heavier with every word.

“I seriously can’t believe you don’t have green hair anymore” Felix said laughing, tears starting to form on his eyes as well.

Sean laughed along. “I know, right? Sometimes even I think it’s weird”.

“Seems like a lot have changed” Felix said on a much sadder tone. “God, I can’t believe it. It’s just... I never thought I’d be in a situation like this in my life”.

“I guess no one ever does...” Sean said, trying to run away from what he had to say; from the guilt eating him from the inside out.

“Felix, I-“

“What happened to my channel? Is YouTube still a thing? Did robots take over the world yet?”

Sean giggled, “it’s been inactive. People all over the world knew what happened to you and basically every single YouTuber made a video talking about ye. Apparently now everyone knows ye’re back as well, so if ye wanna go back making videos I’m sure ye’re gonna have millions of views. And no, robots didn’t take over the world, unfortunately”.

Felix smiled, looking in his friends eyes. “What about you? Still making videos?”

Jack nodded, “every day”.

“Why did the doctor say my boyfriend was on his way to see me and then _you_ got here? Is there something I’m not remembering?”

Sean froze completely. He went straight to the point. ‘Yea Sean, why?’ he asked himself.

“Or they are just assuming things?” Felix continued and the Irish couldn’t be more grateful for that.

“Yea, they just assumed, I guess” he replied, trying to act as chill as possible.

Felix smiled. “It made me happy to hear that, tho...”

Sean blushed. He wanted to say it back, but he couldn’t. It wasn’t right.

“I’m sorry if I’m making you uncomfortable. Must be the medicine that’s making me say this shit” he smiled, siting on the bed with a certain difficulty.

“Hey. Ye don’t get to apologize for anything, okay? And ye’re not making me uncomfortable, ye never do. Guess that’s why I missed ye so much. Well, that and the gifts ye used to buy me. Ye owe me all those holidays, by the way”.

Felix smiled, “no problem. Sounds cool”. His smile closed. “Wait, I’m still rich, right?”

Sean laughed, way louder than he expected, “well, yer parents paid for everything so I guess ye’re still pretty rich”.

The blond sighed, “oh great, one less thing to worry about”.

They kept looking around for a couple of minutes. There was just so much to be said, but Jack couldn’t focus any longer.

“Felix, I’m sorry” he finally said. The Swede starred at him, waiting for the rest. “I- Gosh, I feel so guilty that happened to ye. I feel like I could have stopped it. If I was just a little bit more careful, I could have warned ye. And the guy, that son of a bitch, I could have make him stop to help, or at least get his plate number. Gosh, I just...”

“Jack”

“And then they said you were in a coma and I thought it would be over as quick as it started but it didn’t and I freaked out, I didn’t know what to do! I thought I’d never see ye again!”

“Jack...”

“And the time passed and nothing ever happened, and I spent hours and hours with ye in this room hoping for ye to hear me but ye never did!” Sean was sobbing, his words were messy. “And then I just couldn’t take it anymore and I left and I never came back. I gave up on the thought ye would ever wake up again. I gave up on ye, Felix. I’m so sorry!”

“Jack!” he yelled this time, cupping his face with his two hands. “It’s not your fault”, the blonde said on the calmest voice he could.

Sean kept nodding, even with the Swede’s hands on his face. “Yes, yes it is. I was a terrible friend!”

“You’re not!” Felix yelled. “You are not a terrible friend, Jack. You have always been a great friend and the fact that you’re here now proves you haven’t changed!”

The Irish tried to take some deep breaths and calm down. Felix got closer to his face, their breaths mixing.

“I can’t imagine how hard it must have been for you. Yes, I was the one that was in here, but you held all of this on your beautiful tiny shoulders alone. I won’t let you blame yourself for this, not even a second longer. I’m here now, everything is gonna go back to normal”.

The Swede kept getting closer, their foreheads were now touching and Sean’s body didn’t seem to want to move an inch.

“I missed ye so much” was the only thought passing through his head that moment.

Felix smiled gently, whispering a “missed you too” that got covered in his loud breath. They kept starring in each other’s blue eyes and nothing else. Not that they didn’t want something else to happen, but they both knew it wasn’t the moment.

Their bodies jumped apart once they heard a knock on the door.

“Excuse me, Mr. Kjellberg. Your parents are here to see you” the nurse said with a smile.

Felix was blushing. “Yea, yea sure. Tell them to come in”.

The woman nodded and closed the door again.

“Guess I better get going for now” Sean said, standing up. “What about a burger later? We can spend the night here. I’ll bring my laptop and we can catch up on the memes”

Felix laughed at the thought. “I’d love that” he said. His eyes sparkling.

“Okay. We have a deal. Please, don’t go to sleep again”

“Only five more minutes” he said, laying on the bed and tucking himself in the sheets.

“Don’t ye fucking dare!” Jack yelled and they both laughed.

“I’m here and queer, Spidicy. Won’t get rid of me now” he said with a wink.

“Like I ever wanted to get rid of ye stupid ass” he murmured.

Opening the door he decided to get one last look at his best friend. He looked tired, but happy. Really happy.

He closed the door and sent him a kiss through that tiny glass window. The Swede smiled and mimicked with his mouth and fingers.

He pointed at himself. I.

Made a heart drawing in the air. Love.

And pointed at me. You.


	3. Chapter 3

The second Sean turned his phone back on, it was the ocean of notifications he was expecting. He sat on a bench next to the hospital and tried to give the right attention to each person, but was interrupted by – another – call from his girlfriend.

“Hi babe” he said after a deep breath.

“Sean! Oh, thank god! I was worried sick about you! Did you hear about Felix? Were you recording?”

“No, uhm, actually I came here to see him…”

“Really? That’s amazing! How is he?”

He smiled. “He’s great”.

“That’s so good to hear. It’s crazy! Maybe we should spend the night with him, if he wants to, of course”.

Sean took a deep breath. “I- I actually think we should give him some time with his family”. He didn’t lie, but knew damn well he had to tell the truth.

‘What is the truth, tho?’ he wondered. ‘Why am I even seeing this as a problem? Felix is my best friend, always were, and Evelien is my girlfriend. Where the fuck is the problem here?’

“Sean!” she yelled on the phone.

“Hey, sorry”

“Did you hear what I say?”

“No, sorry. Can ye say that again?”

She buffed a little, “I said you’re right and asked if you didn’t want to come to my house tonight, then?”

‘Yup. Now that’s a problem. How does one say their SO they have plans with someone else and that there’s absolutely nothing in this whole world he would rather do that night than hang out… with that somebody else?’

Answer: they don’t.

“I actually have some work to do, since I haven’t recorded anything today”. She didn’t say anything. “And I was kinda hoping I could spend some more time with Felix… ye know, after his parents leave…”

“Oh”. The line got silent for some seconds, “okay, you know what? That’s completely fair. He is your best friend and I just wanted to come along cause I miss you and I really wish you could introduce us, but there’s going to be a better time for that”.

Sean was not ready for such a chill response. “Really?”

“Yeah, of course. I won’t bother you any longer, okay? Just text me so I know you’re okay”.

“Wow. Thanks for understanding, really. You’re the best”.

“I know”, she said giggling. “Tell him I said hi, okay? Gotta go now, love you!”

Sean smiled. “Bye, honey”

‘Okay, problem solved!’

‘Right?’

 

 

 

_My parents got me the new iPhone and I still remember my iCloud password. Can you believe it????? After a whole year!_

Sean giggled at his phone. He never thought he’d receive a text from Felix again. Only the thought made him angry at himself for ever thinking that, but happy as fuck cause it was happening.

_Wow dude! That’s insane!_

_Right??? I’m awesome *sunglasses emoji* Are you coming already?_

_You want me to? It’s still 4pm_

_Why wait? Mom and dad had to go already and there’s a lot I wanna talk about with you_

Sean was smiling like a child. He had waited for way too long already.

_On my way!_

He called an Uber, packed his notebook, his charger and a toothbrush. He was going to make this night worthy of a ‘best night after sleeping again after coming back from a coma’.

Another text received.

Just a bunch of heart emojis.

 

He got to the hospital faster than he could find Felix’s new room; even asking for information, apparently his brain could not cope on finding a door with the right number on it.

Sean decided to ask a doctor walking on the hallway one more time, but recognized him before that.

“Excuse me, aren’t ye Felix’s doctor?”

The man smiled. “Yes, I am! Just came back from his room”.

“Oh great cause I’m here to visit and can’t find it anywhere”.

“You’re the boyfriend!” he realized, apparently. “He told me you were coming. I didn’t recognize you for a second, you had green hair, didn’t you?”

“Yes, actually I… Wait, did he said his _boyfriend_ was coming?

“Not exactly. He said ‘friend’, but I figured it was you so I asked if it was the same guy who brought him here and described you, he confirmed. But that’s normal, some gay couples prefer not to come out to every single person and that’s okay! My husband used to say he was my friend to everyone here too, but he wouldn’t fool anyone”. He laughed, “everyone used to say ‘the eyes never lie’ to him and soon everyone knew about us. Same thing with you two, I presume. In fact, I’m gonna prove it to you!”

Sean was shocked. He hardly lacked words to say in any situation, but he just couldn’t find himself to speak that moment.

He followed the doctor, who gave gentle knocks at the door before opening it.

“Felix?”

“Yes?” he answered the doctor.

“Your friend is here”. He walked in and Sean followed him. “Just met him in the hallway”.

“Finally! Were you lost?” he asked the Irish, smiling.

“Yes, actually, and don’t ye dare laugh” he threated, pointing his finger at him.

Felix laughed. “Idiot…”

“Shut up!” they both laughed, Sean only then remembering what the doctor said.

He was about to leave the room, but stopped at the door. “The eyes never lie” he said again, and with a little wink he left.

“What the fuck was that?” Felix asked.

Sean shrugged. “I honestly have no idea”.

“Are you flirting with my doctor, Spidicy?” he asked in a cheering tone.

Sean almost spit the non-existing juice in his mouth. “Why would I do that?”

“The exact same question I’m asking myself. Hmmm…”

Sean placed his backpack on a chair, taking his laptop off. “Are ye really jealous of yer doctor cause he’s gay and winked at me?”

“HE’S GAY????”

“HE’S LIKE 40! AND MARRIED! And don’t ye dare ask how I know he’s married”

“You probably asked, right?”

Sean put his laptop back on his backpack. “Yup, that’s it. Bye, Felix”.

The blonde was laughing uncontrollably. “No, no. Please. Stay”.

Sean looked back at him; that perfect smile and the eyes… god, those eyes…

“Fine” he said, “but only cause ye need me”

“I do” Felix answered.

Sean blushed. “Okay, enough with the cute shit”.

“Jack, come here” the Swede asked. Sean looked at him and tried to find a place to sit near his feet on the bed.

Felix sat on the bed and their faces were really close once again. “I basically ceased to exist for a whole year. That’s 12 months and a half of my life that I’m never going to have back. They just vanished”. Sean kept paying attention, his friend’s hands holding his own. “You know the worst part of this? Is that it’s not even the longest time that just passed by and I did nothing about it. I’ve lost so many years ignoring some aspects of my life that it’s like I was in a coma way before that.”

Sean broke the look to stare at their hands together. Felix did the same while talking. “I won’t ever stop with the cute shit like you asked, Jack. Not while I feel it. I’m done sleeping, in every way possible. Especially on my feelings and especially towards you”.

The brunette looked up again, trying to focus on what was happening; but it was just so easy to get lost in his eyes. “Felix, I-“

“I know a whole year passed and if you ever felt at least something for me you don’t feel it anymore, but I do. I’m still in love with you and that’s just another year’s anniversary to this feeling”.

Sean was now deeply lost in his eyes.

“I know you don’t feel the same right now, but please don’t leave me because of that”.

So lost in those eyes that it felt like a hallucination to close his own and kiss the other man. No thoughts involved, just such a strong feeling that not even his brain was capable of ignoring.

The kiss started to get deeper, hotter; their hands were now holding each other’s necks and only then Sean’s brain was able to think. And then he let go.

“I knew it” Felix whispered, before the Irish could say anything. “You have someone, don’t you?”

Sean was frozen. He could, for a brief moment, realize how wrong that was, but now he couldn’t work on the reason why. ‘Why is it wrong if it feels so good?’

“I- I’m so sorry, Fe. I didn’t mean to…”

“Hey” the blonde said smiling, putting his finger on the air so Sean could stop talking. “It’s fine. I was almost a hundred percent sure you were dating someone and that doesn’t change anything I said or how I feel. I won’t tell anyone about this kiss…”

“That’s… the problem”, Sean interrupted. “I- I think I want to tell”.

Felix gasped, already smirking. “You want to blackmail me into giving you my channel, don’t you?”

Sean tried to hold his smile. “Shut up! I’m serious! Felix, I don’t know how ye can be so sure I don’t feel anything for ye, if I don’t know it myself! Do ye have any idea of how many times I came into this hospital while you were gone?”

“You _came_ in a hospital? That’s disgusting, Jack”

Felix was laughing again, so Sean held his face with both of his hands, looking deep into his eyes. “Felix, my friend, my bud, I really missed ye and I can’t even express how happy I am to hear yer voice again, but can ye please shut this pretty mouth?”

The Swede giggled and nodded, “sorry, bud. I think I just don’t wanna hear you killing me with your kindness when you say in the best way possible you just wanna be friends”.

Sean took his hands off the blonde’s face and held his hands instead. “I spent like a month without recording anything cause I just couldn’t leave ye, ye know? Cause I already left ye that night and I was not going to do that again…”

“I told you, it’s not your fault”.

“I know” Sean replied. “Deep down, I know it’s not; but the point is that was not the way I should have reacted after what ye said. You opened yer heart to me and I kept everything to myself, and there’s not much I regret in my life but that is worth thousands of lifetimes of regrets. When I thought I lost ye forever I just… I couldn’t bear it. I couldn’t bear the pain so I just buried it and I moved on, just like everyone was doing”. The Irish took a deep breath, “I focused on work and I met someone and she is one of the most amazing people I’ve met in my life, things were just happening and when I realized we’ve been together for three whole months and I told myself that moving on wasn’t so bad. I knew I couldn’t ignore my guilt and my regrets forever, but I kept stalling. When the hospital called today everything came back and instead of thinking ‘now my life is completed’ I thought ‘now my life can start’”.

Felix was still sitting on the same position, paying attention to every word. Jack put one hand back on the Swede’s cheek, “my life would be perfect with ye as my best friend and nothing more, Felix. It would. But then I’d be doing what ye just said, I’d be sleeping on my feelings. Feelings which I don’t understand but I know they exist. Evelien is incredible, she helped me so much and I really love her, but… I don’t know…”

“It doesn’t matter how perfect she is, you just don’t feel you belong with her” Felix completed, “cause she isn’t me”.

Sean nodded, realizing his friend knew exactly how he felt right now. That’s why he broke up with Marzia for no apparent reason in the past, cause it really has no logical explanation. It’s just love.

“In a million years I would have thought I needed a whole year in a coma for us to finally talk about this” Felix giggled.

The Irish smiled and kissed him one more time, now realizing how precious time were to keep losing track of what really matters. “I think only a week would be enough”.

“Meh, I needed vacation anyways. Also, imagine how many great ideas I’m gonna have and then realize someone already did a video like this 10 months ago and I’m copying them?”

“And they won’t sue ye for stealing their idea cause ye were like dead for a year!”

“Right? This is the fucking best” he said laughing, but stopped once they heard someone at the door.

Actually, someones.

“Oh no! I thought if we got here early enough we wouldn’t be in the way of you two fucking. Sorry guys, put your clothes back on now please” Mark said, pretending to cover his eyes. With him Brad, Ken and Marzia.

They all laughed and Felix even stood up for some seconds to hold them, before the weakness of his legs force him to fall back in bed.

They talked, laughed, and shared the news. Marzia was dating somebody else, which made Felix genuinely happy and everyone else was just as good as she was. They brought him pictures of everyone and he cried. They all did.

The hours went by fast.

So did the weeks.

Felix was home and working again and Sean had broken up with his girlfriend, telling her nothing but the absolute truth. She promised one day they would be friends, but now she needed time.

 

“Are ye sure ye wanna do this already? I told ye, we can wait a little longer to tell them about us…”

“What did I tell you about waiting, Jack?”

“I know. I know” Jack smiled, turning on the camera. “Let’s do this”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So basically they record a video and keep living life like any of them could die at any second cause that's accurate af and you should remember that everyday so yea, hope you enjoyed it and I'm gonna try to post more of my writing here for ya'll <3 peace


End file.
